Ok, so there have been a number of things keeping me from blogging for more than ten days, namely the fact that my computer recently flaked out on me and had to be sent in to Apple for a new logic board (thank you, AppleCare). Also, Thanksgiving! Also, Thanksgiving means family! All of them! So, it's been a bit crazy here lately (albeit wonderful).
Anyhow, I'm back, hopefully in a somewhat more consistent capacity.
I've been feeling super music-y lately. Whenever I listen to good music or make good music or just do anything music-related, I get this feeling in my chest like I'm going to cry. But it's not a bad thing. I actually feel really good about it, because it means that something about music lights a flame inside of me. It further justifies the passion I became more acutely aware of during my season on the Wanderbird. Ironically, it was not having music that made that awareness grow. When I first started realizing it, I started singing to myself a lot more. While I was on bow watch (where I had to stand up on the front of the ship and look out for small icebergs that the captain couldn't see), I would make my shift go by faster by singing through entire albums of music that I had enjoyed back in the real world. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy that same music while I was on the boat; it's just that I didn't really have any outlet with which to enjoy it. I wasn't supposed to listen to my iPod during the day, and by the end of each day, I was so tired that all I could do was crawl into my bunk and sleep. So I felt a little deprived. I started listening to a little bit of classical piano and guitar before bed at night, so I could just have a little bit of a music "fix." Of course, that made me want to listen to other things, so I eventually started listening to more genres, even if they were less sleep-inducing than my classical music.
I'm starting to tiptoe away from my original point. In the process of figuring out what comes next for me, I've been trying to find something that will bring as much joy as my season of maritime life did. I don't think I've felt such an utter lightness in my heart as I did when I was on the Wanderbird since I was a carefree 8-year-old. What I want to find is something that will feed me just as much as this 7-month experience did, but that doesn't involve so much adjustment.
Being on the Wanderbird was magnificent, but I had a really hard time with a lot of it (i.e. homesickness- I actually realized that I felt the lightest when I was still working on Wanderbird, but back in Maine, so I could see my family more easily- they are all incredibly important to me).
I'm not saying that I don't want anything I do to be hard. In fact, I relish being challenged. No, what I'm saying is that I want to find something that I know I'm already passionate about.
See where I'm going with this?
Obviously, there are so many other things that I love doing and am very passionate about, but more on that in another post.